My neurologist and I have decided to stop Topamax because I have been having vision issues, like the last time I was on it.  Waking up in the morning I would get ghosting of images and my eyes in general would hurt all day long.  This probably is related to the possible side effect of closed angle glaucoma that Topamax can induce.  I had my eye pressures checked a while back and they were fine – but I didn’t again after increasing to 200mg/day.

The other thing I hadn’t realized is that Topamax seems to have been affecting my ability to develop software.  You’re reading that right – it prevented me from finding the right CODE TO TYPE.  I thought it was concentration issues or just the headaches in general but I think it has to do more with word association and the ability to think ahead of the code before programming it.  Even a few days after being off of the Topamax I could tell something had changed and I was back to my previous performance levels of slinging out code and finding solutions to problems.  I’d almost say that I’d rather deal with the cluster headaches than not have the ability to be a software engineer.

Anyone else have this type of experience?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=505571&in_page_id=1965&ito=1490

I’m tolerating the new medication well.  From my previous experience, I know not to expect anything until at least about a month into it.  I’ve had some horrible headaches this week but that’s most likely due to the drop in caffeine.  My eyes have been dry and bleary again lately; I’m hoping it’s not related to the “Topamax Eyes” (increased ocular pressure) that I had before.  We shall see how it pans out.

I’m looking forward to the Thanksgiving weekend.  I need the two days off to recuperate and catch up on homework!  Tazz has a really good chance at two places he interviewed at.  One already called around for reference checks and had him take an online personality test.  We’re hoping that they don’t wait too long to at least give some sort of feedback.  Talk about a headache!

I wanted to review a little of what’s happened to me in the past two years.  Maybe not so much for your sake, but as a tool for me to reflect.  That sounds sappy but why have a journal if you never reread it, right?

1. Topamax hurt me more than helped me.
2. I finally got out of my deadend job; 4 employers total in the past two years since leaving the hell hole.
3. I got my bachelor’s degree and now I’m going back for my master’s.
4. Coffee is a drug and I’m a pusher.
5. I’ve had raw sewage dumped all over me.
6. Stomach acid sucks big time.
7. Losing weight also sucks big time.
8. I’m more scared about losing my vision than being in pain all day.
9. Verapamil made me fatter.
10. Hawaii is awesome.
11. Podcasts are fun but take a lot of effort to do them.
12. Aging parents frighten me.

I’ve learned and experienced much more past these twelve items.  I never wanted my head pain to define who I was or to change how I interact with the world.  The truth is, I am the headache pain and it’s me.  I’m just glad I have a place to bitch and whine about it!

There is a guy that walks around where I work with his bluetooth headset on all day long. He goes into the bathroom with it, the elevator, and into meetings. Since when do you have to be poised to get a call 24×7? Take the headset off and put it into your pocket. When you get a call that lasts longer than a minute, put it on. Simple as that. The blue light on it gives me a headache too!! Seriously.

Then I found this post today on the 37 Signals blog. Holy crap you need to read the comments.

We’ve gotten a boat load of snow today.  As we’re ready to leave from our bowling league last night, it started to snow.  It looked pretty at first and then we realized a quarter inch or more fell in a matter of 15 minutes.  Fun.  Driving was exciting and very unsafe.  I do enjoy snow on the weekends because you have nowhere to go.   Tonight we’re supposed to get another 8-12 inches.  That’s nearly 30cm for you metric peeps.

We met my parents for lunch yesterday at Applebee’s and had a good time.  I saw a friend from my old job.  I talk with him online all the time so it was nice seeing him.  I do miss the place; I worked there for almost eight years.  He’s finally getting an interview to move on.  A lot of my other “work” friends haven’t done much in eight months.  People threaten to leave but never seem to be able to get out of that evil pit of despair.  [ maybe too dramatic... ]

My eyes have been bugging me lately.  I promised myself that I would make an appointment with an eye doctor.  Not a shopping mall eye glass dude, but a real doctor of eye diseases.  I think they’re called ophthalmologists rather than optometrists.  I can’t tell if it’s a bad prescription or if my eyes are just dry all the time.  I get fuzzy vision in the mornings mostly and artificial tears don’t seem to help.  It’s weird.  It reminds me of how my vision got when I was on Topamax…  Hopefully it’s nothing serious.

Other than a birthday party on Saturday, it’s been pretty much a normal work.  I have a project at work to spend my time on for a few weeks.  I need a focused task rather than doing a little of everything right now.  I am supposed to travel to South Carolina in April and it could be for weeks at a crack.  Yuck.  BUT, software engineers where I live tend to travel because of the market.  If I lived in California, I would have a three hour commute each day rather than traveling once in a while.  Fun.