Where I’m At

I started getting major headaches around 2002 – it wasn’t until 2005 that my neurologist determined they were most likely cluster headaches.  It’s been an up and down ride ever since.

I went through some particularly bad periods, getting 5-6 clusters a day but still somehow managed to function in the real world.  For years I felt like I wasn’t really a cluster headache sufferer simply because they weren’t “bad enough” to admit I had the condition.  I was simply a minor case and because I wasn’t debilitated by them on a daily basis that I had no real cause to complain.  The reality is we all experience pain differently and there is no way to tell if my headaches are any different, less or more severe, or a different form of cluster headache.  The point is we are all experiencing pain and the rest of the world typically thinks we’re making it all up or it’s not THAT bad.

I’ve been very lucky that I haven’t been chronic for a number of years.  I’d like to think regular exercise has helped curb the crazies in my brain.  I get a doozie once in a while, typically at night before bed time.  I’ve taken myself off all of the insane medications and have been able to stick with melatonin 12mg at night to keep the dementors out.  Every single day I secretly hope they’re gone or at least I get another couple weeks without going back to the 5-6 headaches a day.

So I’m still around, still experiencing pain but haven’t felt the need to use this blog as therapy in a while.  I had some issues with attention deficit and decided to take myself off of my medication.  I’ve been doing mental conditioning and physical exercise on a regular basis to help with my brain patterns throughout the day.  The standing desk seems to help change my focus patterns when I’m working, too.  I had to remind myself that the ADHD is something I can control with mental exercise – unlike the cluster headaches which I have none.  I can at least find a middle ground with the attention part. 🙂

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