I’ve noticed since I was young that I had a different way of experiencing the world. I see and feel everything around me and it’s hard to put into words how it is to not be able to focus at times. I had a process I followed in highschool that sort of worked but my grades weren’t as good as they could have been. College was easier as I was paying for it myself and going part time – the motivation was there to focus.
Work has always been a challenge but I’ve found ways to cope. I listen to music, turn off distractions, time box things. All of this was put into place without really having a name for what it was. I didn’t realize I had ADD. Maybe I had an idea but I didn’t want to be one of those people on legalized meth.
I started at a new job in July of this year and I’m working out of my house. I really like the job and I have a lot of great people on my team. I’ve noticed that my self-designed mechanisms I’ve used over time to keep productive didn’t quite work when I’m at home alone. I finally decided to talk to my doctor about it.
I was referred to a counselor and we talked about everything. It was pretty clear to her that my thoughts about me having ADD/ADHD was pretty dead on. I told her I don’t want to be on meds forever. I know how that is with the cluster headaches and didn’t want to add another one. I did say, however, that I want to see what it’s like having “normal” focus so I know what to work towards.
I’ve started on a low dose of Vyvanse and am starting a regimen of yoga, meditation and diet change. So far on day two I’m seeing a big change I’m focus. I took myself off of Doxepin to reduce interactions but I think I may have to go back on. Headaches came back with a vengeance.
More soon as this new adventure unfolds.