I’ve noticed a trend in both family and friends.  The more you are honest about how you are feeling and discussing your ailments, the less people care about them.  It’s almost a paradox – the people you love are supposed to help you through things like pain, sickness, etc.  However, they can be easily overburdened by your chronic syndromes.

My stomach has been pretty wonky since I was 19.  I started taking Pepcid when it first came out on the market and it helped for a while.  It eventually stopped working and I had to make my way up to proton pump inhibitors.  Nexium seems to be “the one” that just works.  Unfortunately, my new employer/insurance doesn’t cover the purple pill.  Protonix just came out with a generic but it’s not the best.  So, the GERD and hiatal hernia have been ruining my life.  Drinking hot tea helps calm it down but ultimately my weight (which is going down) and drinking soda are the primary factors. 

I’m babbling.  My point is, it’s a fine line you have to walk/balance on to keep your family from being numb.  I think we too easily forget we can suck it up for a while, if we’re actively trying to prevent accessing migraine triggers, bad foods for our heads and stomachs, etc.  Part of me says screw off, if you don’t like it then you can kiss my ass.  The other part of me says that it’s hard enough for me going through it and I should use my external help wisely.

Part of the other issue that I’ve discussed before is both the migraines and GERD are internal things.  A little red light doesn’t start blinking on your forehead to confirm you’re ill.  (Although, I think sometimes we see blinking lights as an aura.)  You know people, even your close friends, do think you’re either overreacting or acting in general if you get symptoms frequently.

Do I show the pain, or just mask it with a smile?


I'm a 20-something full time geek, part time student and photographer with a life partner, dog, house, and the two cars. I also have an ice pick in my left temple every day.


Migraine Chick · June 22, 2008 at 6:47 AM

I’ve noticed the same trend about family and friends when I discuss my ailments honestly, the less they appear to care about them. Sometimes, I feel like I get more concern and caring from strangers than I do from my own kinfolk!

deborah · July 1, 2008 at 8:36 PM

oh yeah; that’s what you call the toxic relationship. so very familiar. unfortunate but true. It must be just agonizing for the poor souls to have to deal with the “pain” for us. puh leeze.

anyway, I hope you feel better soon, babe. and I mean that!!

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